Amy Wine house Before & Crafter

Parents just be careful what you say to your children--i'm just sayin

Parent's: Come on amy you can do it just take a crack at it

paparazzi: hey Amy how are you-- I'm Crackterrific thank you!

Playmate: My Big Tuna BF Beat Me With A Bat

Yes boob 11 what is it mam--yeah hello he's trying to pop my boob bags please hurry!

A former Playmate of the Year is suing the ex-boyfriend she claims brutalized her, threatened to kill her family .... and even attempted to pop her breast implants.

Dalene Kurtis, who won the Playmate title in 2002, wants $10 million from ex-BF James Daren Metropoulos, heir to the Bumblebee Tuna fortune.

Dalene claims, among other things, James

-- Beat her in the ribs with a baseball bat
-- Called her a "f**king whore," "ungrateful b*tch," and "ugly old Playmate"
-- Stomped on her chest and stomach
-- Choked her
-- Grabbed, punched, and kicked her
-- Spit on her

Dalene won a temporary restraining order against James early last month.

Maria Shriver Apologizes -- Oops, I Did It Again!

eeh eeh eeh eeeeh! i'mma do it again

Maria Shriver is sorry. Again.

The First Lady of California released a statement through her office this afternoon, apologizing for her latest driving gaffe -- parking in a red zone this weekend for over an hour.

Earlier this month, Maria was caught on tape driving while on a cell phone -- three separate times -- a big no-no in California. Maria apologized for that one too.

Maybe now she's learned her lesson.

Springsteen Cancels Show After Family Death

Bruce Springsteen canceled a concert in Kansas City tonight after his cousin, Lenny Sullivan, was found dead in his hotel room -- a source close to the band tells us.

Springsteen announced the death on his official website, saying it was a "death in the family."

We're told Sullivan worked for Springsteen for 10 years as an assistant tour manager.

Cops and paramedics responded to the hotel where Bruce and the band were staying at around 4:15 PM. Sullivan was found dead in the hotel and circumstances are currently under investigation.

Rihanna's ram-like hairdo

The r&b and pop singer hits the town with a hairstyle that resembles animal horns.

The St. Louis Rams might have a new fan

Lil Wayne Pleads Guilty To Gun Charge

Lil Wayne has just pled guilty to attempted weapon possession in New York.

Wayne was busted on July 22, 2007 in NYC after police pulled over his tour bus because they allegedly smelled pot.

Cops say when an officer approached the bus, Wayne tossed a Louis Vuitton bag with a gun inside.

New York is known for having extremely tough gun laws -- Wayne is expecting to get 1-year behind bars.

Wayne's troubles are far from over.

The rapper still faces felony drug possession and weapons charges in Arizona ... after cops found 105 grams of marijuana, 29 grams of cocaine, 41 grams of ecstasy, various drug paraphernalia and a handgun on his tour bus during a traffic stop in Yuma County back in 2008.

Wayne pled not guilty to those charges -- his trial is set for March of 2010.

A-Rod Plays Peek-A-Boo With Paps

Even when off the field, A-Rod likes to play games.

While having lunch in Orange County on Thursday, the 34-year-old baller tried to hide from photographers behind a napkin.

Hopefully, he can do a better job of saving face by getting the Yankees into the World Series.

Khloe And Lamar -- Prenup Is A Done Deal!

Good Boy Odom--oh and one more thing, now when you mess up and you will-- and decide to ask kobe for advice get ready to go to the bank $,$$$,$$$ if you know what i mean

Khloe Kardashian and Lamar Odom have officially signed their prenup,

It was inked about an hour ago. Both Khloe and Lamar were together when they put pen to paper.

As we first reported, under the terms of the deal, Lamar keeps the $33 million salary he could make with the Lakers. Lamar will fund the joint account and give Khloe an annual lump sum that remains static throughout the marriage.

And, for good measure, Lamar agreed to pay for the home they plan to buy.

Britney Settles With Treadmarked Papper

Brit Brit: Son of a b!tch i should have ran over the other foot

$Hit-arazzi$

* Run over a paparazzi's foot $200k

* Run over a paparazzi a cool $million

* Run over a paparazzi and kill em $0 can't take a picture of your license plate if there dead

oh wait you'd have to kill the camera man and K-fed, cause you know he's always looking for more money to keep that gut operating kasdfka sorry fingers tired oh yes and the 20 other papanarazzi's !!salute!!

Team Britney Spears has reached a financial settlement with the paparazzo who accused the pop star of intentionally driving over his foot with her Mercedes back in 2007.

Rick Mendoza, who was working for TMZ at the time, had argued that Brit's people "should have known ... Britney was not in the mental, emotional and/or physical condition to operate the subject motor vehicle in a safe and reasonable manner."

The terms of the settlement were not released -- but Mendoza had originally demanded more than $200,000 in damages.

Guy In 'Bon Jovi' -- Divine!

Here's the fourth guy in Bon Jovi at a Broadway opening on Monday (left) -- and the Divine Miss M, Bette Midler, back in 1979 around the time "The Rose" was in theaters (right).

Christ!!!

Only one of them still rocks his hair 'do, whoops.

!!icaramba!!-- i got to get this on tape